Pain, to me, has always felt like fists.
Quick, hard blows to my body,
leaving me sore and limping,
though stronger in the end.
But this,
this pain is different
like a poison
coursing through already raw capillaries
it burns me, from the inside all the way out,
consuming me with i different kind of toxicity I've not met before.
......
Mama just wants a perfect Daughter,
Expectations keep coming like drops of water,
Drip,
Drip,
Soon the cup spills over.
Mama doesn't know,
She doesn't try to understand,
The expectations overflow.
......
I wonder what your memories taste like
A toxic gin tonic?
A flirty dark and stormy?
Take a walk around my lips
Caress me from the inside
Draw pretty flowers on my hips
Gently steal me as your bride
The firefly in my soul is burning my body. It makes me run until I'm near death, then gives me a few seconds to catch my breath. Then, chop-chop, back to the hustle! Again. The six strings become my entire world as I get lost in the web of possibilities that are just aching to be realized, be seen, and be heard. My words melt onto the page, taking form as the led of my pencil turns into liquid gold that bleeds out of my pores when I cry. I want to cry. I need to cry. I want my tears to turn into lines that form sentences that stab people's hearts like the spear of lightning that was birthed in the caves of Zeus's fingerprints. I want my fingerprints to be remembered. I want my sentences to be kept in a museum beside those ancient teapots that were used by some fat king. I want my six strings to become someone's entire world, their entire universe. I wanna be famous. I want to play with my life. I wanna destroy it and bring it back with the help of my firefly. This firefly runs through my veins faster than my blood, faster than my pain, faster than my joy, and faster than... me. It is my desire and my friend. It is my desire to be a friend. It is my poison and my medicine. It is everything. I love my firefly.
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I've worn the weight of the world on my shoulders,
sustained by a lifetime of wounds,
inflicted by others,
but mostly by myself.
The ghosts of my past—
my father, my stepmother—
they etched their voices into my mind,
a relentless echo,
whispering lies that I'm not enough,
that love was something I’d never deserve.
......
I've worn the weight of the world on my shoulders,
sustained by a lifetime of wounds,
inflicted by others,
but mostly by myself.
The ghosts of my past—
my father, my stepmother—
they etched their voices into my mind,
a relentless echo,
whispering lies that I'm not enough,
that love was something I’d never deserve.
......
I wonder what your memories taste like
A toxic gin tonic?
A flirty dark and stormy?
Take a walk around my lips
Caress me from the inside
Draw pretty flowers on my hips
Gently steal me as your bride
Cry me a river
and a lake
I've been hoping for you
to feel my mistake
the liquid is deep red
from fresh lines it bled
the skin that's open stings
as I sit here waiting for your ring.
Cry me a river
......
Her ephemeral mundane attention
caress the enraged barbarian.
His fainting heart eclipsing her,
declaring hand of wraith.
Her pale cheeks almost turn
red, yet her eyes melt away,
In delightful memories of his
vicious and dubious hand.
......
My mo-mothe-mother-mother's hideous hallucinations have hidden
here in me, and these daunting monsters are the only possession
of her staying with me.(These monsters decease me like my mother
did to believe
My sensitive skin assumes husky, hairy fingers firmly declaring
an elusive touch on my already injured shoulders.
The eerily, firmly comforting touches bring back the quiet (yet
ever echoing) voices of a blurry pre-presec-presence in my
blurry adolescence.
......