Struggling to connect with my two older kids feeling like maybe I'm resentful with them and can't move on from the previous day and almost having the same attitude as the previous day (negative)
Feeling like everything is in my head
Feeling like I might have narcissistic traits but knowing even having that type of self reflection is something a narcissist isn't capable if but still heavily Feeling like I am narcissistic
(Reason for Feeling like a narcissist) since leaving the environment I grew up in I feel like so many things end up being how they are because of how I feel personally
Feel like I most likely have cptsd
Definitely feel like I have anxiety
Definitely feel like I may have clinical depression (mother and grandmother have this)
Writing a list of things because I know I'm going to be getting a therapist and feel like the only reason I can justify the cost is actually being able to pin point issues and actually have something to say instead of even the first session not getting much of anything accomplished
Also just writing this and thinking about expressing my feelings making me cry
Also the fact that I feel I need to prove I need a reason to be in therapy
......
A paper cliff, and a crashing wave,
stick figures walking across the page,
nighttime curls,
and the darkness furls,
and in the starlight's shadows,
there grows to be a gallows.
Towards the ledge,
come back from the edge.
Figures turns around,
......
him [cold like the arctic wind]:
the frost I recall,
the slightest of shivers
the chill that brushed over my shoulders
I was longing to thaw, I was longing to shield
yet she burned, and she blazed
while I smouldered
—
......
As we are all part of the same verse,
languages to belong by diverse.
When the pen is mightier then the sword,
rhymed words are the crown of all commerce.
Legislation and constitutions in applicable intellect,
loving words by peacemakers detect.
Therapeutic words are the guru’s mother tongue,
liberating the spirits to where they belong.
Admired by masters of philosophy in dept,
liberating the cosmic mental effect.
......
I am too big for my body.
The echos of once forgotten voices bicker and plead in my mind,
once dead but now alive inside of me.
The full spectrum of life--
with its compounding complexities and relentless emotion--
rages against me like a storm,
coloring the world around me;
Here, the walls are painted with melancholy,
the floors littered with shedded skin.
My anger provides the light;
......
I am too big for my body.
The echos of once forgotten voices bicker and plead in my mind,
once dead but now alive inside of me.
The full spectrum of life--
with its compounding complexities and relentless emotion--
rages against me like a storm,
coloring the world around me;
Here, the walls are painted with melancholy,
the floors littered with shedded skin.
My anger provides the light;
......
Struggling to connect with my two older kids feeling like maybe I'm resentful with them and can't move on from the previous day and almost having the same attitude as the previous day (negative)
Feeling like everything is in my head
Feeling like I might have narcissistic traits but knowing even having that type of self reflection is something a narcissist isn't capable if but still heavily Feeling like I am narcissistic
(Reason for Feeling like a narcissist) since leaving the environment I grew up in I feel like so many things end up being how they are because of how I feel personally
Feel like I most likely have cptsd
Definitely feel like I have anxiety
Definitely feel like I may have clinical depression (mother and grandmother have this)
Writing a list of things because I know I'm going to be getting a therapist and feel like the only reason I can justify the cost is actually being able to pin point issues and actually have something to say instead of even the first session not getting much of anything accomplished
Also just writing this and thinking about expressing my feelings making me cry
Also the fact that I feel I need to prove I need a reason to be in therapy
......
As we are all part of the same verse,
languages to belong by diverse.
When the pen is mightier then the sword,
rhymed words are the crown of all commerce.
Legislation and constitutions in applicable intellect,
loving words by peacemakers detect.
Therapeutic words are the guru’s mother tongue,
liberating the spirits to where they belong.
Admired by masters of philosophy in dept,
liberating the cosmic mental effect.
......
him [cold like the arctic wind]:
the frost I recall,
the slightest of shivers
the chill that brushed over my shoulders
I was longing to thaw, I was longing to shield
yet she burned, and she blazed
while I smouldered
—
......
A paper cliff, and a crashing wave,
stick figures walking across the page,
nighttime curls,
and the darkness furls,
and in the starlight's shadows,
there grows to be a gallows.
Towards the ledge,
come back from the edge.
Figures turns around,
......