I was sent to the edge of that cliff, and there I sat.
There I stared into the void, the nothingness.
I felt the rock from beneath sifting...crumbling.
Stillness
I could not find the strength, as the earth beneath disinterested.
......
Motherhood requires hard work,
Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world.
Having kids is the great responsibility,
Making them kind, is the real beauty.
Being mother, you have to think twice,
......
I smelled a perfume
and it smelled like her
Mami
and no she is not gone but the version of me that loved her when she wore the perfume is
So very often you will see me fail,
and mostly I don't care.
For failing is just part of life,
its something all humans share.
I don't care if I'm not the best
at many of the things I do,
but every inch of my being is telling me
I must be the best mother, for you.
......
(In memory of my mother 1931 - 1980)
Born in 1931,
before the second world war had begun
A beautiful, brown-eyed baby girl
The sweetest, Beryl Eugenie Bell
One of ten, her father’s favorite
In knowledge and beauty, she would excel
To him, no other child was greater than
......
I was sent to the edge of that cliff, and there I sat.
There I stared into the void, the nothingness.
I felt the rock from beneath sifting...crumbling.
Stillness
I could not find the strength, as the earth beneath disinterested.
......
Momma, I know you've beaten down my mind,
But oh, the ways I remember
How you've been whipped by God.
I recall your force-fed tears,
The illness of loneliness.
I want to cry,
Recalling bedtime
Knowing we heard your cries,
Yet you couldn't stop.
I don't understand why I was traumatized,
......
Cutting the umbilical cord was so fearful
and letting them go so difficult and tearful.
Confusion and doubt came flooding into my soul
my future uncertain now that I’ve lost my role.
My nest was empty now that my fledglings had flown
for they had gone their own way and left me alone.
But my undying love and care will never end
because I will always be their mother and friend.
(In memory of my mother 1931 - 1980)
Born in 1931,
before the second world war had begun
A beautiful, brown-eyed baby girl
The sweetest, Beryl Eugenie Bell
One of ten, her father’s favorite
In knowledge and beauty, she would excel
To him, no other child was greater than
......
There once was a woman tamed with internal toil
Guarded and gutted, lost and forgotten
Her heart brimmed with passion for the broods she bore
Yet the stagnant air wept at the musty wooden door
No longer rising by the sun’s sail
Her heavy limbs silently seeped toward the floor
Too weary to feel too numb to mourn
The degree of fear she’s felt within was no flaw
......