I’ve struggled to write your letter for so many months. That was supposed to be my closure. I could never find the words, nothing was good enough, nothing could encapsulate everything that is us. Words cannot describe who you are to me. Words cannot describe the impact you have on my life. Words cannot describe the love I will always have for you. No letter I could ever write would do you justice. There is too much to say, too many feelings, too much love challenged by pain. Ive needed That closure, the end, my last words to you. That is simply an impossible task. your role in my life is not over. I’ve tried to fight that, but it’s fact. The only thing to end is my suffering. That is an end I can live with. That is an end I welcome with open arms. That end brings new beginnings. A new chance for hope, love, friendship, and most of all happiness. I’ve let go. Not of you, but of the pain. I remember how to smile.
Continue readingI wonder, were you it? Will anyone ever love me the way you loved me, or were you it? Will anyone ever lose sleep thinking about me, pining over me the way you did, or were you it? I think you were it. I can’t sleep because I think you were it. Because now there is nothing. It’s done. And I will never again be loved so deeply. And I will never again be wanted so deeply. And I will never again be the reason he can’t sleep. How could you have ever loved me. There is nothing here deserving of love. How did you see this mess as something worth loving. Will anyone else see me the way you did. Please tell me you weren’t it. Please tell me you were only the beginning. tell me there is more.
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all these words never said
and the happy songs that
turned sad in my head
i should have given up by now
but you know how i am
i have no more a larger piece of your life
than that which you give me and
this is just another worn out story
......
Beneath the arches, time lets go,
A whispering current’s steady flow.
Bruised reflections drift and gleam,
Carrying burdens into the stream.
What once was heavy now feels light,
The bridge stands still through day and night.
For water passes, and so do we,
Letting the past dissolve, set free.
Do you suffer loneliness at night?
Keep a hold
Are you stirred, shattered and shy?
Don't let it go
Is there any doubt when the hurt, the hurt it does you proud?
Draw circles round the targets,
Look how far you've came.
With bare feet, keep running
......
Ich öffene meine Hände,
als hielte ich Wasser,
das nie mir gehörte.
Der Wind nimmt
was ich nicht mehr halten kann,
ohne Eile,
ohne zurückzublicken.
Und irgendwo
......
I open my hands,
as if holding water
that was never mine.
The wind takes
what I can no longer keep
without haste,
without looking back.
And somewhere
......
Ik vouw mijn handen open,
alsof ik water draag
dat niet van mij is.
De wind neemt
wat ik niet meer kan houden,
zonder haast,
zonder terugkijken.
En ergens
......
Who will say goodbye
Will the reason stand in season
explanation follows treason
Look me in the eye.
Who will say goodbye
Perhaps an undelivered lie
a fine line
a misunderstanding of the heart
an actor lost in part
words to fall apart
......
Beneath the arches, time lets go,
A whispering current’s steady flow.
Bruised reflections drift and gleam,
Carrying burdens into the stream.
What once was heavy now feels light,
The bridge stands still through day and night.
For water passes, and so do we,
Letting the past dissolve, set free.