I wonder, were you it? Will anyone ever love me the way you loved me, or were you it? Will anyone ever lose sleep thinking about me, pining over me the way you did, or were you it? I think you were it. I can’t sleep because I think you were it. Because now there is nothing. It’s done. And I will never again be loved so deeply. And I will never again be wanted so deeply. And I will never again be the reason he can’t sleep. How could you have ever loved me. There is nothing here deserving of love. How did you see this mess as something worth loving. Will anyone else see me the way you did. Please tell me you weren’t it. Please tell me you were only the beginning. tell me there is more.
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Maybe it’s because of holding on to that I’ll learn to let go.
Maybe it’s because of all this pain that I’ll learn to be strong.
Maybe it’s because of all this sadness that I’ll learn to be happy.
Maybe it’s because of all this hate that I’ll learn to love.
I’ve struggled to write your letter for so many months. That was supposed to be my closure. I could never find the words, nothing was good enough, nothing could encapsulate everything that is us. Words cannot describe who you are to me. Words cannot describe the impact you have on my life. Words cannot describe the love I will always have for you. No letter I could ever write would do you justice. There is too much to say, too many feelings, too much love challenged by pain. Ive needed That closure, the end, my last words to you. That is simply an impossible task. your role in my life is not over. I’ve tried to fight that, but it’s fact. The only thing to end is my suffering. That is an end I can live with. That is an end I welcome with open arms. That end brings new beginnings. A new chance for hope, love, friendship, and most of all happiness. I’ve let go. Not of you, but of the pain. I remember how to smile.
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all these words never said
and the happy songs that
turned sad in my head
i should have given up by now
but you know how i am
i have no more a larger piece of your life
than that which you give me and
this is just another worn out story
......
Do you suffer loneliness at night?
Keep a hold
Are you stirred, shattered and shy?
Don't let it go
Is there any doubt when the hurt, the hurt it does you proud?
Draw circles round the targets,
Look how far you've came.
With bare feet, keep running
......
The sunset lay beautifully in front of me,
I wiped my tears off of my face.
I finally see it for what it is,
After the divide.
I leave it all behind,
Leave my bags on the rock.
Watching as the sunset began to fade away,
......
Gentle is the river that runs
Throughmy heart
Calming my body from heartache
I know you need to leave
With all my questioning , I suppose
You crave getting away
However, I know If you stay, you'll regret it
And we'll fight endlessly
Until someone exhaust the purpose
Making you prisoner wasn't my idea
......
Made myself bleed
From anxiety
Baby don’t you see?
I don’t feel the heat
And I don’t feel seen
This physical fatality
I thought went deeper
But this mountain-
It’s getting
Steeper
......
Looking up at the sky
Trying to make sense of it all
How do the stars neither fly
Nor tumble and fall?
Isn’t it great
This unique ability
To contemplate
Our own fragility
......
all these words never said
and the happy songs that
turned sad in my head
i should have given up by now
but you know how i am
i have no more a larger piece of your life
than that which you give me and
this is just another worn out story
......