Why does my life always end up this way?
No matter what I do nobody comes to save the day
Although the sun shines and the birds sing
No matter how far I walk my ears just continue to ring
Walking
Turning
Running
Panting
Breathing
......
I feel so alone
It feels exhilarating
This loneliness
Just thinking about
Nothing
Drifting
Falling
Oh…
Drowning
......
I come from a dark place,
A place of too many why’s and not enough how’s.
A place where questions have no answers.
A place that I call reality.
They ask me to do it, so I do it.
They ask why I did it, I did it for them.
They say to do it for me.
Who is me, and why should I care?
......
Crawling around my neck
A braided choker with many threads
Threads of fears, worries and many dreads
Sometimes I reassure myself it's all in my head
But this makes it choke me harder instead
Makes me drown in tears trapped inside
Attacking me with a huge tide
No shore I can see as I am swept away
I lost me destination, I have gone astray
I am not in control anymore, I am just a witness
......
Persistent endless emptiness,
Sinking numbness with every breath,
Legs like lead,
Zero motivation,
Procrastination off the scale.
I just need to sleep, just 5 more minutes... Just 5 more minutes... just 5 more minutes before I face my world.
Wash? Why?
Same clothes as yesterday.
Same clothes for the last decade at least. Fuck my appearance!
What do I care?
......
Why does my life always end up this way?
No matter what I do nobody comes to save the day
Although the sun shines and the birds sing
No matter how far I walk my ears just continue to ring
Walking
Turning
Running
Panting
Breathing
......
I feel so alone
It feels exhilarating
This loneliness
Just thinking about
Nothing
Drifting
Falling
Oh…
Drowning
......
I'm highly Intoxicated!
This lovely liquor that keeps killing me dead
I'm high!
One becomes two, my heart can fly
The vast road turns narrow
And angels flying in, calling my name with sorrow
Eagles hunt my apartment,
......
If this choice I make
I foresee a future dark
A life of pain and sorrow
A stomach that knows not food
If this choice I make
I may never see the coin again
Or dance the freedom of choice
In the streets of the rich
......
My head is a heavy boat.
Full of lead lined thoughts locked in iron chains.
A swell hits the top sails, a wave rocks the moors and everything topples to one side.
The boat tips. I can feel it tipping.
The bottle holds a message though. The drift will take it ashore.
The barge will be just the kindling of a story told once before.