The creek was cool beneath the sun,
Its waters sparkled, our laugh begun.
We dove and splashed in endless play,
Wolf Creek kept the heat at bay.
Golden Gate’s diamond called our names,
Where dust flew wild in epic timeless games.
The crack of the bat, the cheers, the grin,
Moments carved deep, where dreams begin.
......
If I could make my own adults,
I’d shape them gently—
after the foggy warmth of grandmothers' laps
and the way a mother tucks in the corners of a blanket like a promise.
I’d build them with leftover laughter from childhood
pressed into the hollows of their cheeks,
the kind that resurfaces when they laugh with their eyes closed.
I’d stir in a spoonful of Camus—
so they'd look at the sky and feel both lost and held.
......
You missed it when you walked in,
The tiles in the bathroom that looked like an ogre,
That had captured my imagination as a child.
You missed that the bottom stair was harder,
The leak in the upstairs bathroom that was neglected and left to the care of a bowl,
Emptied weekly as if this chore was less than fixing it.
You missed the dent in the paint from the arguments,
Doors slammed haphazardly into walls,
The stain on the carpet from way back when,
......
Every morning I rise
And brew a cup of coffee.
The beans are freshly ground,
Bubbling on the stove,
I plan each and every task.
Proud of the collection
That I have curated
Of beans from near and far.
But as I take a sip,
......
Cross my heart, hope to die,
Stick a needle in my eye.
A swarm of paper lanterns is suspended by evening warm air.
As a summer blizzard, they shine brighter than gold.
We promised one day, we'd shine brighter.
On her mossy bed, lithe clusters of lavender brush her satin skirt.
Like her, their violet crowns are dusted in pollen and starlight.
......
Wash my hair,
Lavender shampoo, the squeak of cleanliness.
When you’re almost done,
Split my skull wide open.
Let it all spill out,
Cerebral storms unraveling in cold, biting splashes.
Take away all that I couldn’t purge.
Let the water flood the hollows of my head.
I’ll shake myself like a stray.
Flinging drops into my eyes.
......
If I could make my own adults,
I’d shape them gently—
after the foggy warmth of grandmothers' laps
and the way a mother tucks in the corners of a blanket like a promise.
I’d build them with leftover laughter from childhood
pressed into the hollows of their cheeks,
the kind that resurfaces when they laugh with their eyes closed.
I’d stir in a spoonful of Camus—
so they'd look at the sky and feel both lost and held.
......
The creek was cool beneath the sun,
Its waters sparkled, our laugh begun.
We dove and splashed in endless play,
Wolf Creek kept the heat at bay.
Golden Gate’s diamond called our names,
Where dust flew wild in epic timeless games.
The crack of the bat, the cheers, the grin,
Moments carved deep, where dreams begin.
......
Loving had never made me feel so lonely, and living never made me feel so lifeless.
Patience was scarce and I was desperate for rest, and the only peace I found was in romanticizing my death.
Hate was addictive, but only towards myself, because I bought into the beauty standards that society sells.
At 10 I didn't know that it was rape and not love, because I believed what he told me until he hurt me for fun.
12 and I hoped that my heart surgery would fail, because at least it'd get me out of writing fair wells.
14 and I wondered “What if infanticide would have won?” or “What if my parents had never given me up?”
16 and my wrists were an escape from the numb, and the only things I believed in were my sports and bulimia.
18 and my stories grew older and untold, because no one had time to be friends with broken souls.
19 and 1 month and I feel most alive; now I know how to live, and not just survive.
......
O memories of long ago
I never thought I'd miss you
I still remember those times
Never thought they'd be the best of times
Oh, how I long for those days
Hard as they were, painful even
They are the loveliest, nonetheless
Younger me would've been perplexed
If she knew I want those days back!
But perhaps that's how life is
......