She told me that women like
men with grizzled,
bestial
faces, men with scars
men with eyepatches
men with very unkempt beards
Mouths that snarl
when it’s time to smile
Eyes that are like eggs buried in
a nest of wrinkles
......
He jumped off the building and
the metallic wings carried
him high
towards the clouds
where others like him swam in absolute
bliss
but then something
hit his head
and
......
I love my Jewish girlfriend
And the similarities of our beliefs...
While we are both spiritual by nature
We know Jesus didn’t wear briefs...
We sometimes disagree on principle
But the basics we believe to be true...
The Golden Rule is the best of all:
Treat others as you want them to treat you...
......
She awoke early one morning
To find herself alone in their bed...
She had gotten into another fight
With her boyfriend last night...
Over problems that were all in her head...
She looked in every room
Searching for her long lost lover...
They hadn’t really spoken in days
Her mind often away in a haze...
......
he could count the major events
in his life on a
mangled hand's fingers
But this was one of them. The day she took him
to church.
So that's what girlfriends are for.
But he didn't like the church
didn't like the songs
didn't like the preacher and the preaching
......
Here I sit
With my best friend
From the very beginning
Until the end
We were born the same year
And we lived next door
It’s a wonderful story
Would you like to hear more
......
Let's face it you're real bad at being good boy
Carried me over the broomstick and flew away that night
I've brought you back in virtual reality, an original copy
And I'm having a hard time acting naturally
I'll watch you grow smaller by the minute
When you realize you have one choice
You're living in an oxymoron
But I've got loyal opposition
And we're the living dead
......
If you want to meet the girl…
Don’t just stand there and gawk…
You have to learn to talk the talk…
Or you have to walk the walk…
If you dance to the music…
You have to pay the piper…
If you disrespect a farmer’s daughter…
He might sting you like a viper…
......
She awoke early one morning
To find herself alone in their bed...
She had gotten into another fight
With her boyfriend last night...
Over problems that were all in her head...
She looked in every room
Searching for her long lost lover...
They hadn’t really spoken in days
Her mind often away in a haze...
......
Why can’t we simply accept
the way things are...
Push aside all our worries
and enjoy a good cigar...
When you can take time off
to finally enjoy your life...
When you’re with your sweet girl
and not your ex-wife!
......