There was no choice except to lie about the drug use though everyone in town knew the truth. He was a heavy cranker, a tweaker and tried to keep it secret then the inevitable came, long under drug-induced strain, its parts wearing out, his heart started failing.
He had done the drug for a long time and did a good job of hiding it from most of the people in town until his best friend revealed his habit to a person close to him.
At first, he tried to explain it away by telling everyone it was a disorder ran in his family but those that did the white powder lines with him just laughed. They knew why he was having problems with his heart and soon they would be too. But the damage was done and there were no stories or excuses he could use to cover his operations and hospital stays anymore and soon the whole town knew what he was. He had hidden the instances of violence against women and kept the cops at bay by snitching when he had a little useable information and they cut him a little slack for his efforts.
But everything had changed. He became thin, gaunt and black blue circles appeared underneath his eyes, his hair fell out and he became an old man what seemed like overnight. Afraid, and rightly so, he wondered if this was the price he paid for his treacherous behavior. For the lies, he told her, the promises he broke and the damage he inflicted because of his greed. For the lives, he had destroyed from his past.
He could not shake these perceptions that tortured him night and day sitting in the back of his brain like a tightening knot that refused to be expelled. It weighed heavy on his heart and more so in his mind until his thoughts turned inward and outward and twisted like snakes. Then he remembered the last words she spoke; the crying and chills ran through his body, he began to violently tremble and his breathing quickened with the memory of her.
......
I felt soft fingers at my throat
It seemed someone was strangling me
The lips were hard as they were sweet
It seemed someone was kissing me
My vital bones about to crack
I gaped into another's eyes
I saw it was a face I knew
......
What sound was that?
I turn away, into the shaking room.
What was that sound that came in on the dark?
What is this maze of light it leaves us in?
What is this stance we take,
To turn away and then turn back?
What did we hear?
It was the breath we took when we first met.
Listen. It is here.
On this new day the sky is mad
darkness seems to doom all man.
The clouds far up away from this land,
all of life seems to have ran.
Soaring along with the mourning lark,
while all the world is shrouded in dark.
Through the door my spirit flies,
and up unto the Heaven's high.
The invocation of the spirit into the realm of life,
or the divine ministrant to sacrifice.
The fire that kindles the bestowing towards purity,
overcomes in time the power of illusion with certainty.
Eternal bliss between the worlds in grace of eloquence,
the hungry mind touched by this sense, seeks that relevants.
Wondrous motion disclosed by worldly desires,
attaching themselves to all ravishing fires.
All what smokes to inhale for the mental ghost to calm,
without the meaning of any harm.
......
When night comes down and I sleep
The mystery of vixen throat utters
'Fairly lay until I worsely weep'.
I think- - the whole once may stir
The uninterrupted atmosphere;
And peep through holes of window
To see if there is some ghosts beside;
I ask myself what's going on
And thereafter, a long sigh from
Resonant bushes, far off home-
......
She was a beautiful girl
All dressed in white...
Her eerie calmness
Caused me some fright...
Her hair was combed
Accented with lilies...
To be perfectly honest
She gave me the willies...
......
but unfortunately they aren't
real
You spend a whole childhood
not wanting ghosts
to be real
only to one day
reach adulthood and
wander from empty room to empty
room hoping
......
The invocation of the spirit into the realm of life,
or the divine ministrant to sacrifice.
The fire that kindles the bestowing towards purity,
overcomes in time the power of illusion with certainty.
Eternal bliss between the worlds in grace of eloquence,
the hungry mind touched by this sense, seeks that relevants.
Wondrous motion disclosed by worldly desires,
attaching themselves to all ravishing fires.
All what smokes to inhale for the mental ghost to calm,
without the meaning of any harm.
......
There was no choice except to lie about the drug use though everyone in town knew the truth. He was a heavy cranker, a tweaker and tried to keep it secret then the inevitable came, long under drug-induced strain, its parts wearing out, his heart started failing.
He had done the drug for a long time and did a good job of hiding it from most of the people in town until his best friend revealed his habit to a person close to him.
At first, he tried to explain it away by telling everyone it was a disorder ran in his family but those that did the white powder lines with him just laughed. They knew why he was having problems with his heart and soon they would be too. But the damage was done and there were no stories or excuses he could use to cover his operations and hospital stays anymore and soon the whole town knew what he was. He had hidden the instances of violence against women and kept the cops at bay by snitching when he had a little useable information and they cut him a little slack for his efforts.
But everything had changed. He became thin, gaunt and black blue circles appeared underneath his eyes, his hair fell out and he became an old man what seemed like overnight. Afraid, and rightly so, he wondered if this was the price he paid for his treacherous behavior. For the lies, he told her, the promises he broke and the damage he inflicted because of his greed. For the lives, he had destroyed from his past.
He could not shake these perceptions that tortured him night and day sitting in the back of his brain like a tightening knot that refused to be expelled. It weighed heavy on his heart and more so in his mind until his thoughts turned inward and outward and twisted like snakes. Then he remembered the last words she spoke; the crying and chills ran through his body, he began to violently tremble and his breathing quickened with the memory of her.
......