I build my own cage,
in an attempt to thrive,
but what if my passion, my soul, is just outside?
Inside there is nothing,
nothing but a carcass, rotting away over time
with familiar blood and familiar eyes
Generations of me holding my hand,
holding me down
begging for their fate to become my own
For a second it gets to me,
......
Mama just wants a perfect Daughter,
Expectations keep coming like drops of water,
Drip,
Drip,
Soon the cup spills over.
Mama doesn't know,
She doesn't try to understand,
The expectations overflow.
......
Sandwiched between reality and fantasy,
A tour from unconditional to unconventional love,
Neither sharing nor shading,
Almost solitude like a wounded lion,
The bruises that you gave
Left me with the deep cut scar,
I can see a brimming river cut a bank,
Possibilities and probabilities we dismissed
Are taken to the life court for Flemish now,
For all you do to me,
......
I can never be clever,
When I am ur lover,
With you wanting to be my master,
Whom I suspect to be a winger,
You encompass my life to be a thriller,
For people to Smule,
With a ban for smile,
A ban to be real me.
I decided to give cathedral thinking,
Longing for my Lochinvar,
......
Smiling feels funny. Almost like I shouldn’t be. Almost like I don’t deserve it. Laughing is hard. Conversation is hard. Shouldn’t it be easier?
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I never see the waves of grief coming
why would I
I’m not dead
yet
every now and then
I think about all the things
that have happened in my life,
everything I thought I was desensitized to,
and I am unbearably saddened
because what I went through
......
In shadows of intelligence, a young man stood,
His mind ablaze, his spirit pure and good.
A brilliant flame, a flicker of creativity,
But society's pressure whispered for conformity.
With dreams of literature and arts so fine,
He yearned to let his creativity truly shine.
But the world, in its wisdom, had other plans,
Forcing the young man into law's demanding hands.
......
I
Like a blue sky
Spread out wide
Unscathed
Unshy
Accommodate
The bulky weight
The awkward shape
Of satellites
Commercial planes
......
They shake hands, and sign papers as I wait with baited breath. “We would be delighted to have such a promising young man.” My parents place their hands on my shoulder and a smile spreads across my face.
I was king of all jesters, when I took to the stage it was a performance that lingered In your heart. Truly special they called it, a wonder I was. The other students rushed to give their praises, and the teachers shook my hand referring all those seeking to shine my way. The audience always remembered me no matter how small the role I truly embraced what it was exactly meant to be. They stood clapping and raving
“ What a promising young man!” They cheered.
My eyes filled with stars, my skin never glowed so vibrantly, my hands were soft, and smooth to the touch. I kept my appearance in top condition; after all it was part of the job, and part of the dream.
My friends admired how fast I rose, as they all stumbled trying to find the path to their future I blazed forward on the trail I knew was meant for me with absolute. The students and faculty all spoke with that same certainty
“ if anyone can do it, I’m sure he will! There’s nothing that promising young man can’t do.”
......
I build my own cage,
in an attempt to thrive,
but what if my passion, my soul, is just outside?
Inside there is nothing,
nothing but a carcass, rotting away over time
with familiar blood and familiar eyes
Generations of me holding my hand,
holding me down
begging for their fate to become my own
For a second it gets to me,
......