Today, I braced myself to get through,
Waiting for two new cats to soothe—
Two lives to fill the empty space,
And calm the ache I can't erase.
As melodies played soft and clear,
I scrolled through my phone, drawing near.
In a glance, the world flew fast,
Like wind that blows and cannot last.
......
Broken Memory
I’ve done it to myself, went back to memory lane where your smiles brought joy to my heart,
not pain.
That smile was for your daughter
Do I just love to feel pain? Oh i love to feel pain of broken memories,
broken hearts,
man that shits insane.
......
It all makes sense now
Those nights I deprived myself from sleep
Those days I wondered where and how
And those moments I combat with anxiety.
I lost count of the times I endured infidelity
But that isn't the only case I had to deal with
My vision was clear but I feel like I'm blinded
Too bad, ignoring all the clues became a habit.
......
Songs For My Dark Mother: Translations from Shakta Poetry 2011
1.
Repose faith in Kali, why so anxious?
The delusive night being over, the dawn blooms.
The sun rises to dispel pall of darkness,
regards to Lord Shiva
......
A song.
A song isn’t just music and words. A song isn’t just something you listen to when you’re bored. A song isn’t just a time passer or a throw away craft.
A song can gain meaning so quickly in the right circumstances.
It’s what was playing when you had your first kiss. It’s the last song that played at your formal before you said goodbye for the last time. It’s what was playing when you had your first heartbreak. It’s what someone serenaded you with when you both were drunk and walking to a bar to meet up with your friends in Manly. Its the soundtrack from that stupid musical your closest friend made you watch that now you’ve watched 3 times and still aren’t sick of it and it reminds you of them every time you hear it. It’s the little memories in front of the piano for 4 hours after class getting frustrated because you just want to learn Clair??De??Lune?? but you STILL CANT GET IT. It’s how two people met at a gig. It’s what the last song was on the night you said goodbye to him for the last time. It’s what you had stuck in your head when he said “you make my day” and it’s what he played in the car on the way to get pizza that one time. It’s what was pumping from the house when you confessed on the front lawn to loving him but it’s also what was playing when he said he didn’t love you and slammed a door in your face. It’s what your friend played on the piano when you first started talking. It’s what he sang to you in the hallway when you were upset and he just wanted to see you happy and it’s what made you realise who the good guy actually is. It’s what you sang to overcome your biggest fear. It’s what you listen to to help you fall asleep. It’s so many things.
To some, a song can be just words and music but to others it’s a whole lifetime of memories, it’s their world. And they wouldn’t change it for anything. I know I wouldn’t.
It's been 705 days since I last felt truly at peace,
705 days since I was with the one I loved the most.
And still, I’m convinced I’ll never love again the way I loved you.
You were the reason I stayed, and in a way, you still are.
I stay now, for the slim chance that we might cross paths once more,
That maybe one day, we’ll meet again.
But deep down, I know I need a reason to stay here,
Other than just holding onto the hope of seeing you,
Someone who belongs only in my past.
......
Today, I braced myself to get through,
Waiting for two new cats to soothe—
Two lives to fill the empty space,
And calm the ache I can't erase.
As melodies played soft and clear,
I scrolled through my phone, drawing near.
In a glance, the world flew fast,
Like wind that blows and cannot last.
......
I will not grant that I yet remember thy scent,
Nor that thy smile once was bright as day.
I will not grant that I recall our first embrace,
The first kiss, the first confession.
I mind it all, but to speak it, I refuse.
Many have said:
"Thou dost seek in each new man the shade of him,"
And though it be true,
......
I strive with all myn might to still the call,
For love that once was deep, now turned to thrall.
I gave thee all, yet thou didst trample me,
And scorned mine heart, with no pity to see.
I fight to hold my wrath from thee,
That thou might feel the weight o' mine agony.
I turn mine eyes from likenesses we made,
For they bring naught but sorrow, pale and fade.
......
What an unfortunate fate;
We are almost perfect.
Our kiss was perfect,
Our plans match and align.
We already could envision
The beautiful future we could have together.
Working together, starting a family,
Having a life we've both dreamed of.
You're all I've been looking for,
......