Found out my dog can’t get the surgery he needs because of a worsening heart condition. Going forwards, it’s just about making him comfortable until the end, which the vet said could be 3 weeks to a year. My work is having a zoom party and we are supposed to show the thing we most value and explain why. It’s obviously going to be my dog and this is the poem I wrote (first ever written).
At first it was hard,
To have much regard,
For the pile of hair,
That shook in despair.
Pitiful thing,
His eyes in full swing,
From left to right,
......
Tomorrow I will wake with the sun’s rising
While I harness the dawn of a day, new
With a wistful heart that will not dare to browse
The distant memories, vivid and lucid in their wake
And I shall live sad without you
Painted smiles with cracks
Affected by the coldness ascribed to my pain of heart
Which beats reluctantly but relentless
Lest it ceases to bear the burden
......
The fire burning within,
of a once romanticized night.
The machete now lies in my palm.
The glistening of oozing red,
slick as the night’s rain,
Only to wash away,
the sin.
The hour resides, the cold shower,
to cleanse the heart,
and it sits on my shelf.
......
Let me be the form you take to live through your days, the lighthouse behind your eyes, your visions be mine, I'll never want to stop feeling your soul, embraced through my chest,
Come be with my hands, your fingers spelling old songs in my arms,
Let your lips hold behind those resting upon our face, so that every word hangs upon them, ours, yours, before reaching someone else's ears,
to show you what you've never known to love, so that your loves are always mine own,
Tell me what your favorite song is, the way it touches your lungs so softly, it seeps from your smell,
Hold me when I'm alone, with shoulders all my own,
Scream into my head so it's filled with your thoughts,
Tell me to stop,
tell me why i should,
......
We do come; we do go.
We do hide; we do show
We do love; we do hate
We do rush; we do wait
We do feel, we do think
We do swim; we do sink
We do plot; we do scheme
......
The fire burning within,
of a once romanticized night.
The machete now lies in my palm.
The glistening of oozing red,
slick as the night’s rain,
Only to wash away,
the sin.
The hour resides, the cold shower,
to cleanse the heart,
and it sits on my shelf.
......
Let me be the form you take to live through your days, the lighthouse behind your eyes, your visions be mine, I'll never want to stop feeling your soul, embraced through my chest,
Come be with my hands, your fingers spelling old songs in my arms,
Let your lips hold behind those resting upon our face, so that every word hangs upon them, ours, yours, before reaching someone else's ears,
to show you what you've never known to love, so that your loves are always mine own,
Tell me what your favorite song is, the way it touches your lungs so softly, it seeps from your smell,
Hold me when I'm alone, with shoulders all my own,
Scream into my head so it's filled with your thoughts,
Tell me to stop,
tell me why i should,
......
I'm sorry that we met and I'm sorry I was sad
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you from the life you had
I'm sorry that you fit me and that you made me smile
I'm sorry that I didn't leave and stayed with you a while
I'm sorry that I helped you when you thought you couldn't stay
I'm sorry that I helped you and I took your pain away
I'm sorry that we cuddled and you had a hand to hold
I'm sorry that you loved me and I kept you from the cold
im sorry that I loved you and that I gave you me
I'm sorry I believed that together wed be free
......
If you think I will forgive you
Think again.
If you think I’ll ever trust you,
Think again
If you think I’ll ever talk to you
Think again
If you think I’ll ever forget
Think again
But still, tomorrow is another day
......
Tomorrow I will wake with the sun’s rising
While I harness the dawn of a day, new
With a wistful heart that will not dare to browse
The distant memories, vivid and lucid in their wake
And I shall live sad without you
Painted smiles with cracks
Affected by the coldness ascribed to my pain of heart
Which beats reluctantly but relentless
Lest it ceases to bear the burden
......