The day before April
Alone, alone,
I walked in the woods
And I sat on a stone.
I sat on a broad stone
And sang to the birds.
The tune was God's making
But I made the words.
Away, melancholy,
Away with it, let it go.
Are not the trees green,
The earth as green?
Does not the wind blow,
Fire leap and the rivers flow?
Away melancholy.
The ant is busy
......
O little mouse, why dost thou cry
While merry stars laugh in the sky?
Alas! alas! my lord is dead!
Ah, who will ease my bitter pain?
He went to seek a millet-grain
In the rich farmer's granary shed;
They caught him in a baited snare,
And slew my lover unaware:
Alas! alas! my lord is dead.
O little deer, why dost thou moan,
......
They sent me a salwar kameez
&nb sp; peacock-blue,
& nbsp; and another
glistening like an orange split open,
embossed slippers, gold and black
&nbs p; points curling.
Candy-striped glass bangles
&n bsp; snapped, drew blood.
Like at school, fashions changed
&n bsp; in Pakistan -
......
After the funeral, mule praises, brays,
Windshake of sailshaped ears, muffle-toed tap
Tap happily of one peg in the thick
Grave's foot, blinds down the lids, the teeth in black,
The spittled eyes, the salt ponds in the sleeves,
Morning smack of the spade that wakes up sleep,
Shakes a desolate boy who slits his throat
In the dark of the coffin and sheds dry leaves,
That breaks one bone to light with a judgment clout'
After the feast of tear-stuffed time and thistles
......
a poet who had a life one envied
writing , scattering , scribbling
on papers with words only she
can understand
paragraphs unwritten —
only learned-off by mind ;
sick , sitting still , thinking
what life really means
......
she must be whom everyone wanted
they cry in front of her
, begging
their knees bleeding
through pleading
from something they knew
they cannot get
grey clouds fits the tears they all left
in the middle of the dance floor
......
"Panic attack," they say.
Is this it?
I whisper, my voice shaking.
I know it’s just in my head,
Everything’s fine.
But then, my heart races—
A drum I can’t outrun.
I flee to the bathroom,
Lock myself in a stall,
......
By learning you, I’m deceiving me,
As common ground sprouts unfound knowing…
But how can I find you relatable?
When I can only see what’s showing?
The limits of your introspection
Prevent you from learning your own brain,
While your narrow means of expression
Dictates the parts you share and explain
......
Time went by
And I was still there
There's 7 yr old me laughing
Can you hear what she saying
"Still no friends, what a sad being."
With that I shout, "No, I have"
"Really ? Someone to go out with ?"
"Someone to laugh with ?"
"Someone to do insane stuff with ?"
I wish I could say yes firmly
......