Crassus one Evening (as 'tis oft his Doom)
Was made the publick Butt of all the Room,
Backside and foreside upon him they fall,
At last, says Crassus smartly to 'em all,
Nay softly, Sirs! For all this great ado,
I can my Talents boast as well as you:
Perhaps I'm not so bright; I grant you that,
But I'm as strong, as Jolly and as fat;
You, Milvius, can your Lines and Circles draw,
I can make Circles too--for Boys at Taw.

You, Sir, can pun, or make a pleasant Joke,
I know you can--and I can laugh and smoke.
You understand your Greek and Logick better,
(Of which indeed I scarcely know a letter)
But I can preach and chat, and after Pray'r
Walk with the Ladies out--to take the Air.
You have more Learning, Sir, perhaps than I;
And you more Wit--all this I don't deny.
But who has most of something else, as good?
Come on! and we'll be judg'd by Mistress W------------d