mina bobina

07/06/2008
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If You Had My Eyes

if you had my eyes
my eyes have seen such immoral things
which has caused my mind to be so far
beyond my years
experiences that makes the soul sting
actions that have left me having to live life in fear

even with how much my eyes have seen

how much my body has felt,

and how much my heart has ached

i am not able to see the wicked in you

On the days that you beat me to

the evenings where you kick me when im already down

and the nights where you leave me to rot

no im not talking about physically
the day a man decides to put his hands on me
he better give thanks and praises to the lord
who he will be seeing soon

no not physically
you hurt me worse than anything i have ever encountered

you broke my spirit

why must you call me out of my name

when i decide to make decisions on my own

why must you make fun of my body when i just want to wear something light

why must you break my peace of mind
then call me to lay beside you

and why do i answer that call every single time

I keep allowing you to treat me like im nothing
am i worth anything to you?

but its all my fault
i accept the blame
im begging you endlessly to love me
while you look at me like im not sane

every time you leave me for another woman
its my fault that i wasn’t enough

when you text another women begging for something i couldn’t give you
its my fault i couldn’t satisfy

when you’ve mentally abused me and tortured my heart for years
its all my fault.

i am stuck in a decaying reality where

i’m clinging onto a unrealistic dream that

made me believe you would never

treat me the way you do




as eyes are the windows to the soul
ill always believe you’re pure
but i rather keep mine closed
so i cannot see the evil in yours
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