trying to find the reasons i cry
searching my pocket dictionary
how pathetic it is, still i wonder why
and how will descriptions even help me?

i will never know how much pain they all see
i will never know the inner workings of my mind
i can't understand why it all ends at him
how much pain do i successfully hide?

and we aren't the only ones who die in the winter
we aren't as lonely as you think
the stars are all dead, or are hybernating
either way they disappear when you blink

they return a season later
and even though they reappear in the spring
you remember each year when they left you before
they become less and less warm welcoming

and this poem doesn't feel as fluent as i wish
but i can't put the words together
i want to explain the way that i feel
by my phrasing, though, my emotions don't seem major

free me from my unendurable pain
free me from this terrible situation
and when the lights go out and i'm home with them alone
no one will ever be able to know what happens