Matthew Conrad

May 15, 1986 - Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski
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der zwangsjackeęnglisch

david hoffman videos chronicling
20th century h'america...
is just about as infectious as a decent
piece of music...
when drinking...
to hell with "proper",
mr., "proper" middle-class BBC 4
talk radio... something akin
but nonetheless much more entrenched
than that eleanor rigby of yesterday
who will switch on the television
for company...
david hoffman videos that borrow
snippets from interviews...
vietnam war...
culture of the 1950s...
counter culture of the 1960s...
so i wonder...
why do so many people
associated mental diseases akin
to being categorized as
infections... akin to: somehow "it" will spread?
sidenote...
i met one pointless war veteran...
he noticed i was holding
a book of aesop's fables...
after telling me his was buggered
in the middle east...
he simply said: why are you being
so intrusive with your judgemental eyes...
i swear i had puppy eyes...
p.t.s.d. - well... being buggered
by an arab: he should know best...
sorry... even i know that tom cruise
doesn't like tom cruise...
but i'm sure that he should have won
best actor for what oliver stone won
an oscar for as best director in 1990...
ah shit... daniel-day-lewis: my left foot...
robin williams: dead poets society...
fair enough... wicked game...
come to think of it...
i don't think i have anything to rebel
against...
this current mish-mash cocktail:
spaghetti. chinese, indian, mexican
takeaway cest-pit...
the grand burger...
it almost feels like:
the people who would ever make money
from war are praying for aliens...
since no other future war
has neither enough smoke & mirrors...
nor any remains of transparency...
the end of history as an exclusively
h'american event of the 20th century:
died in 2001...
now? pick & nibble history -
a chunk from britain with "brexit"...
something from Crimea...
something from hong kong...
otherwise? if you don't hear
about it upon the global media stage?
no history is happening...
but in h'america... the history coming out
is hyper-inflated...
even the once decent origin of culture
is marred by political commentary -
everything has to exist under
commentary scrutiny...
h'america is still shaken...
its cultural export is crap...
maybe in 100 years time:
come 2119 rolls along...
while all the culprits are dead and their
living sperm association with
a blank shot into the dark can be
protected as mere genetic signatures
lost to the suckling demon of time...
the 20th century most certainly remained
to h'america... esp. the second half of it...
but it's.... tiresome to think of
h'america as the bellybutton of
the the world...
to reclaim the status of the bellybutton...
some major eventful city in h'america
will have to compete with a mere
square mile of greenwich, london...
i can only see yet another replica of the same
story... ever so often a history will expand
to encompass certain individuals
and call it progress -
but at the same time constrict to a plagiarism:
to repeat the former woes -
h'america wasn't something akin
to pure evil - it was simply necessary "evil" -
i can see no of walt whitman in its current
state... the people are coming home,
to whatever can be deemed a "home"...
mongrel suitors to an otherwise
dissected body, to an otherwise dissected soul -
mongrel tongue ties -
like myself -
the time of the lingo franca came,
as it passed...
the time of the lingo l'inglese came,
as it had to pass...
what is war... over what...
when three quarters of things
have a label: made in china?
war... over what?
then again: this always bewildered me...
it's called patriotism in h'america...
but it's called nationalism in europe...
am i the only one with jeremy cricket jitters?!
h'america simply opened itself up...
who would have thought
that the once beacon was divided by 50...
states so independent of each other
that watching california sink into a turd-pile
of disbelief was something worth wearing
as a badge of honor in places
like maine...
there is nothing of cultural export
left in h'america... progressive metal music
was probably the last thing i paid attention to...
the movies... eh... they come...
they go... the complete and utter
brain-drain of imagination is already here...
at what point will people realize that
all they're ingesting is plagiarism?
you could have... associated imagination
being furthered... if...
some real technological advance came into
life... something akin to a refrigerator...
a t.v., the internet...
but that's not happening... any time soon...
all the "new", ahem... "improvements"
are happening at an incremental pursuit
of: less a boundless sea of knowledge...
they are... incremental... but they are not
calculus revisions: this is not exponential
incrementation...
i have reached a plateau of history
and of technology...
of course i am probably wrong...
but there is some sort of a plateau moment...
nostalgia for the 20th century!
what a terrible nostalgia...
at least, for certain: if you are somehow
woven into a reality off of nostalgia
that current governs the sprout of 21st "logistics"...

wenn ich trinken und trinken ich werden!
ich werden entwirren mir von
der englisch verstrickendrehbuch -
alles wählerisch ar willkommen...
außer die besonders einzelheiten...
zu spreschen deutsche ist zu entfielhen...
der zwangsjackeęnglisch:
du können etweichen ęnglisch / sächsischhoffart...
durch spreschen die wenig
deutsche: als notwendig!
das sächsischhoffart geschieden
den sächsisch von der deutzsche brut...
sie alles besagt kommen zu diese inseln:
wir nicht werden rasse mit diese volk
(der kelten)...

i have to be the only integration project
immigrant to have to succumb to tease some german
back into english...
i'm at odds: i frankly want to escape back
into some sort of german rigour -
while all the other immigrants are pushing
their sort of understudies of their culture
into the host culture...
i'm bound to attempt to remind the host
culture: you weren't exactly the best
bedfellows selling yourself,
whoring the mongrel debased in you
with either the french or the spanish...

and from german? hva ellers?
annen enn... til meg reise nord?
til se hva er opp der!
sirkel ned...
og finne meg selv...
hjá tann hólmarnir av
tann fimm vindar.

my god... i can only manifest a placebo escape
from being tangled in english...
if i could learn but one of these tongues...
i'd travel to these lands as a much and as little
as merely a pauper...
oh sure... the dutch would or the belgians...
the scandinavians treat me as a well spoken
tourist...
unless i chanced to tell them:
hetta er ikki min móðirtunga:
hetta er min Venesia gesturtunga...

ja także śpiewam po polsku...
jak ten pospolity: wróbel!
znam! znam! moo-ᚠ-eer! matka! matka!

i've already said it... after 2001 people are dispersing...
the twins of babel have fallen...
whether by a genuine attack or bound
to conspiratorial speculation...
that's beside the point...
something awoke in me...
that would have otherwise gravitated toward
me seeking h'america...
i'm seeking the bloody faroe islands!

my heart is...
the cultural export of the 20th century
isn't there... to sustain former h'american
influence... h'america will not sustain the world
by the current cultural export of
political youtube commentators...
even i find myself wanting
to unlearn english,
i've defended my given tongue:
even though i haven't any strangers to speak it...
i'd sacrifice my english for an i.q. of
90 of faroese -
yeah... i'd play the village idiot...
anything to get out of this...
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff- -ucking straightjacket!
the nag hammadi read by the wrong
sort of people!
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