given the current situation -
was the right wing shooter the incel failure -
the "loser" and none of his political
motivations were mentioned -
he was the psychiatric case in need of
further study - or was it the left wing
shooter? ha ha... see, i always tend to confuse
the two polar-opposites...
one side tends to have genuine political
viability - while the other... tends to employ
psychiatry to hush hush the situation down...
oh i'm pretty sure the left is more prone
to extend to psychiatry for help to deal
with the P.R. bollocks...
personally? i should receive an oscar
for playing a schizophrenic in ol' fair and merry
england...
well... either i am mad,
or i'm living in a mad world...
i like to think of the latter...
but fuck me: if i'm not mad... then...
i'm a damn good actor...
which would imply that i have really tapped
into the resource that is the jungian shadow -
today i thought about it...
while poaching new potatoes...
somehow a slug / a snail without a shell got
into the potato bag... i took the potato out
and put it in the sink...
watched this slug for about 10 minutes...
with an invisible mouth gluing and slobbering
all over the tender n00b to the grand family
of things of the universe...
the slug had built up a symbiotic relationship
with some sort of pseudo-parasite...
and his method of breathing?
a hole mid-way on his body...
which i thought was a puncture -
but no... i saw it close, then open...
as it slobbered over the skin of the new potato
trying to break it open to get to the juicy flesh...
the shadow in me awoke in that moment...
well... if i'm already poaching the corn on the cob...
the new potatoes... i've fried the onions and garlic
having smothered them in a little bit of salt,
paprika and cajun pepper...
and i'm about to fry this here tender loin
(the neck of a pig) - juicy medallions...
you just cut them into size... press hard with your hand...
hey presto! no need to bang them with a mallet
for that schnitzel effect...
2 minutes each side... juicy pink in the middle...
so i thought about it...
if the french do it to frogs and...
what would a fried slug / snail without a shell
taste like... fried?
i contemplated this for ten minutes
watching it slobber the whole potato i was about
to throw out...
apparently... snails (yes, i'm pretty sure it
was a baby snail... those protruding eyes...
slugs don't have them) decided to not slobber
the potato... began the very short lived curious
adventure of the metal sink...
unfortunately for him, or rather,
fortunately he wasn't fried...
just flushed...
bukowski made it pertinent...
isolation is the gift...
i can hardly consider the sort of person
associated with an ivory tower mentality...
but... at 33... for all the incel rage to one side...
and the forever alone despair on the other...
i guess i had to pick better mentors than
my contemporaries... how many failed
relationships? promis, isabella, ilona... tamara...
how many prostitutes?
1 ukranian... 10 bulgarians...
1 puerto rican... a nice flabby juice pouch
from amsterdam...
i've had a suss of things...
when ilona started to read me
this cosmopolitan magazine questionnaire about
the perfect girlfriend... that's when it hit me...
i just wanted to listen to some bob dylan
and watch russian from the train as it crossed
the border between europe and asia -
the great flatlands before the Urals...
if you are the only child...
you learn to occupy yourself with your own
company...
there's always something to be found
that has to occupy your attention...
penis size... that's a good start...
well imagine my gosh moment when one of the bulgarian
girls said after she settled for an impromptu orgasm...
'that's only the second it has happened to me'...
kama sutra: rabbit phallus just fucked
an elephant's vagina... penis envy solved...
incels... isn't this a solely h'american phenomenon?
and the root cause is this secular fetish
for circumcision - to circumcise a man...
but not make the woman somehow subservient
to the snippet akin to what the arabs
and the hebrews practice?
no?! seriously?! that isn't the problem?!
so you want to circumcise a man...
and the woman... is told she can just...
willy-nilly behave in the same way she could
with a non-circumcised man?
psst... the game's a... bit... just a tiny bit
different... shit: i know that with a foreskin i'm not
expected pleasure from sex...
if i were circumcised: i would probably have
a lot more derivatives of pleasure...
i always tended to fuck on the premise:
please her... find something else to do...
feed the brain the pickle jar some shrimp paste
or something...
after all... i have never met a woman
who knew how to jerk me off...
it's like they're only used to this circumcised
yanky-doodle... they think it's akin to
holding a snake without it biting you...
logically that implies: well... if i can satisfy myself
better... what's the alternative...
a soft pillow stack of pouch ms. rose petal queen
of the skin temple of poseidon?
or a gag bitch sop with pricey lips
that play teeth to a gamble and a blind man's
tongue fiddling away?
modern porn... ugh... send me back
to the 1970s itallian classics... hell... just give
me ai shinozaki's bosom....
now that's a face you wouldn't want to perform
oral sex on... the sort of face that
is sacred for a mother to kiss her children goodnight...
ms. forever porcelain pale moon...
i guess only japanese girls have that sort
of aura... after all... the japanese are white...
i'm the slavic piglet pink type...
thai bronze in the summer...
and king crimson after a few ms. ambers...
for starters you can't have a secular society
that invokes practices of semite societies on me -
but doesn't force women to make concessions
on religious terms - while also allowing
men to be circumcised!
no wonder this sort of bollocks comes
into view... as any new painter would learn
from a master - i have two grand examples
of "incels": kant and descartes -
happily bound to: do not disturb me...
it would honestly also help...
if these h'americana "godsends" would visit
something akin to Taizé Community:
an ecumenical Christian monastic fraternity
in Taizé, Saône-et-Loire, Burgundy...
and learn to appreciate songs...
da pacem domine...
so many glorious chants to aspire
to sing...
and a brothel... seriously...
even the teutonic knights had one in
their capital-citadel of Ordensburg Marienburg...
h'american and its laws of prohibition...
the inventors of the strip-club...
such an alien concept: strip... club?
so that quote from the devil's advocate comes
in handy... . look, but don't touch.
touch, but don't taste. taste, but don't swallow...
that's what always bewildered me
about the h'americans... their puritanical
excesses in the modern frame of mind...
completely out of synch.!
just as well going back
to Poland to some agricultral village and
listen to the sins of some fucking babushka
radio maria eager listener...
beyond rage and despair...
well... rage can destroy despair...
and rage can be contained via some variant
of stoicism... but both rage and despair
have to be present... rage has to be used
against despair since despair has the essence
of water... it can leak from anywhere...
you need something concentrated:
rage is a concentrated emotion -
a plethora of emotions to be exact...
and since despair: the nagging whisper
of the ego can't be hushed -
it needs to be stomped...
and only then... can one can attain to give it
a membrane buffer reality...
a sarcastic sense of humor helps to provide
the barometer of whether or not
you are good at it...
i truly give my despair and prayer
to the circumcised men of north h'america...
men left with that mot tender bit missing...
without women having to make any concession...
at least a circumcised man in saudi arabia
is seen walking along a woman attired
in a niqab to compensate...
i'm guessing pretty hard to be constantly
bombarded with erections
and no foreskin to cool off one-on-one...
sure... i bought into the whole h'americana
serial killer fetish...
rob zombie, slayer, mudvayne -
forgive me, am i wrong is saying that
charles manson is completely irrelevant
in comparison to ed gein?
only recently the revised take on ted bundy...
the only famous cain prodigy from the soviet
union? you have to dig deep and far...
Andrei Chikatilo - which has a funny aphorism
attired to it, my none other than me:
that quote from the dark knight rises -
bane: perhaps he's wondering, why someone
would shoot a man, before throwing him
out of a plane?
well... they dragged ol' chikky chikky into
a cell... and shot him in the back of the head...
is... anyone... familiar with that urban
myth of: a cockroach is able to live for two
weeks as a body without a head?
just imagine the nightmare...
the Christine Chubbuck incident proved my theory
correct... sure... she shot herself in the head...
but her ticker was still the measure of all
manner of seconds, minutes, hours and days
after... just like that Kafka fetish...
she didn't die immediately...
she just died brain dead in a hospital bed...
the movie ended with a pristine galore...
her best friend came back from
the hospital, took out a tub of ice-cream
and started singing a lullaby while
eating the ice-cream...
eh... the brain is not the fucking speedometer
for the body... stab in the heart is the better
way out... shot to the head?
after all... how many incidents of brain dead
happy cabbage patch kids are loitering
in beds on life support machines, in comas?
i figured: well... if they took him into a cell...
he must have been alive for at least a week...
he could have hardly bleed dry from a single
shot to the back of the head...
believe me: history shows that the ukranians
are not shy on the metre of sadistic humor...
i'm just trying to imagine the scrambled nightmares
of lying, starving, in a cell...
waiting for the body to shut down...
with the brain being dead...
what a Dantesque take on matters!
so yes... i did buy into this whole h'american serial
killer export... but the current
transgender export?
sorry buffalo bill q lazarus: no more horses /
greenskeepers: lotion...
i'm freaking out...
why? when pig big pharma hears about:
hormone blockers?

this lot of disney can... remain...
happily lodged, back... in its country... of origin...
that thought prohibition was a good idea...
i'd sooner be dead than visit h'america
without john wayne's 5pm shadow...
as with the case of a circumcised man living
in a secular society of emancipated women...
with circumcised men but no
female concession...
what?! a circumcised man...
but no woman wearing a niqab?
oooooops....
how about having one: st. peter's ear...
two: van gogh's ear... i don't need the cartilege
of the ear to hear any better...

it's just such a wow moment...
a schizophrenic in england (bilingual)...
a man of the world in poland...
i guess i always had to play the role
of the sort of individual society wasn't ever
to become comfortable with...
the sort of individual the said society
always espoused!
no hive mentality... pure... unadulterated
chronic individualism...
the sort of individualism that had to tickle
solipsism for an alt. answer...

even in warsaw while helping out a greek
tourists: 'your english is so good'...
i didn't expect this much
misinterpretation... which is the sort of
treatment you get...
when you have to outshine the natives
in their own language...
but lucky for me...
i'm not a former british empire subject
cum new little england citizen...
chamaleon escapade...
over 'ere i'm just regarded as
the chin that paved the way to Berlin...
a deutschemensch...
fuck it... i'll settle for playing
the german...
one way to feed into my fetish.