Little by little it ebbs, this life
if by any chance I am still alive;
my brief time passes before my eyes;
I mourn the past in whatever I say,
as each day passes, step by step;
youth deserts me; what persists is pain.
And what a bitter variety of pain
that not for an hour in so long a life
could I give evil so much as a side step!
Surely, I'm better dead than alive?
Why complain, at last? What's more to say,
having failed to be cheated by my own eyes?
Those lovely, gentle and lucid eyes
whose absence caused me as much pain
as her not understanding whatever I say!
If at the end of so long a short life
you should keep the burning ray alive
blessings will attend my every step.
But first I'm aware the ultimate step
must advance to close these sad eyes
love opened to those by which I live.
Pen and ink must witness to the pain
in writing of so troublesome a life
the little I lived through, and the more I say.
Oh, I know not why I write or what I say!
If contemplating yet another step
I envisage a sad version of life
that places no value on such eyes,
I cannot conceive how such pain
could find a pen to declare I'm alive.
In my heart, the embers are still alive;
if they found no relief in what I say
they would now have made ashes of my pain;
but beyond this grief I overstep,
I'm softened by the tears of those eyes
that, though life is fleeting, keep me alive.
I am dying alive;
in death I live;
I see without eyes;
tongue-less I speak;
they march in goose step,
glory and pain.