Untitled

To me who was;

Conceived by mistake
Carried through pain
Punched and abused from uterus
NOT WANTED!
the first words I heard
First words I learned
Screaming millions of others
Scratching and pulling at my tiny toes
They wanted me back
But I held on still
I wanted to be born
"It could be a better place", I lied to myself
Through the trimesters were more punches
bathed in tears and soaked in grieve
Tossed about was the little woman
The clocks thick
The womb opened
Trembling in fear the womb had opened to blades and scissors that'll cut me in tiny little pieces
But I was born
And laid to rest
Welcomed with tiny tear drops
Not of joy,
But of Grieve, Rejection and Abandonment
I was delivered into G.R.A, where only I existed
I learned to exist there.
It was suffocating!
Because I was never born
Only delivered to a shaky teenage hands
I lived on
In a world where I was born
I live in the universe
The world beyond the clouds
A world without time; my mind.
I rule and reign because I'm LA'Reina

I learned to fight for acceptance before I learned to walk.
I was cloned
I could only be and do what's on the menu
I learned to put a lot of effort, I got nothing out of freewill
Every single thing was a struggle, a war even.
I'm never good enough until I've done enough
Never deserve a thing unless preserved because of a thing I did
I'm cursed...
Perhaps.
Whoever thought a father's actions could transcend through decades
A power grossly underestimated!


I'm hated by my kind rejected by men
Over and again I try;
To find love and acceptance
To live at peace and have a thing of mine
But the tails of age long curse keeps hitting them off my wall
Out of my reach
The heavens found me but shut against me right after
I'm a lone, but never alone
Would've died a thousand times but a thump stronger than mine presses me in place.

I live but die a million times
I'm the invaded
The abused by all and sundry
Used but never useful
Today I'm reminded of this
I'm reminded of my root, my woes
So I take my mind back to it
Not his fault
For the He before him, the He whose sperm formed me rejected me
He laid the foundation
Perhaps he's just being an ignorant follower of tradition.
A miniature form of my lose.
I was born to fight, but with him I chose to lose.
The heavens would open
So I won't die of drought
This is untitled
Would never find a befitting title.