I’m not a horse…
I am a mule…
I’m not a donkey…
You silly fool…

I’ll let you in on a secret…
My dad is a donkey and my momma’s a horse…
But I love dem both just da same…
And dey love me back, of course…

I live and work in da French Quarters…
And pull tourists when the weather is good…
I get plenty of breaks between da fares…
My owner loves me, as he should…

I get my strength from my jackass dad…
And my good looks from my sweet momma…
I like to watch the tourists get really drunk…
But I stay away from all dere crazy drama…

My barn is large and very clean…
My stall is both spacious and airy…
I never work more den seven hours each day…
My favorite snowball flavor is black cherry…

I work no more den four days…
And den I take a day off for rest…
I don’t mind da heat or humidity…
And working in da Quarters is da best…

So, whenever you visit New Orleans…
And you want to be takin for a ride…
Come get into my pretty carriage…
Grab a go cup and come play outside…

© 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice