Nothing can be hidden from Lochaline Stores,
Supposing the Grocer's has eyes and ears:
Not an addiction to scratch cards or whisky,
Not a partiality to a bottle of Chianti.
Not a dickey heart, not an icky stomach,
Not a forty-a-day habit, not a weakness for crumpets,
Not a feverish love of the Guardian newspaper,
Not you dashing in for Alka-Seltzer.
Not the book of first class stamps for your love letters
Not you turning back from margarine to butter
Not a stain on your laundry-coffee, wine?-
Not your shaky I'm fine to the daily how are you?