Now Moses, what makes you so strange and forgetful?
How is it you heed what I tell you no more?
Just look at your picture -- who would not be fretful?
Your great muddy boots on my clean kitchen floor.
And there you are smoking -- Oh dear, 'tis provoking!
To tease and torment me it is your desire;
I'll throw your old-- no sir! indeed I'm not joking --
I'll throw your old meerschaum right into the fire!

Now Moses, you'll catch it! Now Moses, don't touch it!
Now Moses, don't you hear what I say? (don't you hear it?)
'Tis thus without stopping, the music keeps dropping,
For night after night, and for day after day.

Now Moses, do tell me now what are you doing
Off there in the pantry so still and so sly?
I know very well there is some mischief brewing --
Ha! that's what you're after, a whole cherry pie,
Stop! stop! you are taking the last of my baking,
The very last pie that was left on the shelf;
If ever one did, you deserve a good shaking,
And I've a great notion to try it myself.

Now Moses, come let us be pleasant and clever!
We must not in future lead such a sad life;
Come, you be my dear noble husband forever,
And I'll be forever your sweet loving wife.
Of course, some supposes that life is all roses,
But really I think that -- well now I declare!
You rascal! you villain! you stupid thing, Moses!
You laid your old currycomb right in my chair!