Thoughts whirl around my mind as the snow swirls in the sky
The darkness around presses on my chest restricting my breath
My mind and body ravaged with a storm of unending torture

A breath escapes once and never again
A brief relief to highlight the anguish within

A kind word from the one with my heart
Carries the weight of my soul for a bare second.

My voice stripped away to nothing in front of you
My mind in chaos all around me
The world falling apart around us.

And so I cling to every scrap I can get from you
Every vacant word or thoughtless sentence carries me through the dark
And at last when I believe it is over and I can move on from this hell of the living world, you reach out again and I am caught in the web of your caring and I cannot hurt me, for to hurt me is to hurt you.
and
I am not cruel