We figured once on fans and screens —
We figure now on the Philippines.
It's not the style to pat my head;
The white man shakes my hand instead.
I once was a cute little joke of a Jap,
But now I'm a fierce little war-making chap,
And nobody's really anxious to scrap,
With the modern Japanee.

Since Gilbert wrote of Nanki-Pooh,
We've moved along a peg or two:
You thought that we were acrobats,
You find us high-browed diplomats.
We've a government very much like your own,
Our Mikado sits on a golden throne,
Over here Mister Morgan rules alone,
Like the modern Japanee.

Jap, oh Jap, oh Japanee,
I'd rather fight than drink my tea;
Brown as a berry, busy as a bee,
Ichi ban! Ichi ban! Japanee.
My flag is found on ev'ry sea;
The Russian and the tough Chinee,
Can tell a lot regarding me,
Banzai! Hoopla! Japanee!