General George S Patton

1885-1945

As Head Of The Division Of Provision For Revision

As Head of the Division of Provision for Revision

Was a man of prompt decision--Morton Quirk.

Ph.D. in Calisthenics, P. D. Q. in Pathogenics

He has just the proper background for the work.
From the pastoral aroma of Aloma, Oklahoma

With a pittance of a salary in hand

His acceptance had been whetted, even aided and abetted

By emolument that netted some five grand.
So, with energy ecstatic this fanatic left his attic

And hastened on to Washington, D.C.

Where with verve and vim and vigor, he went hunting for the Nigger

In the woodpile of the W. P. B.
After months of patient process Morton's picular proboscis

Had unearthed a reprehensible hiatus

In reply by Blair and Blair to his thirteenth questionnaire

In connection with their inventory status.
They had written--'Your directive when effective was defective

'In its ultimate objective--and what's more

'Neolithic hieroglyphic is, to us, much more specific

'Than the drivel you keep dumping at our door.'
This sacrilege discovered, Morton fainted--but recovered

Sufficiently to write, 'We are convinced

'That sabotage is camouflaged behind perverted persiflage.

'Expect me on the 22nd inst.'
But first he sent a checker, then he sent a checker's checker

Still nothing was disclosed as being wrong.

So a checker's checker's checker came to check the checker's checker

And the process was laborious and long.
Then followed a procession of the follow-up profession

Through the records of the firm of Blair and Blair.

From breakfast until supper some new super-follow-upper

Tore his hair because of Morton's questionnaire.
The file is closed, completed, though our Hero, undefeated

Carries on in some Department as before.

And Vict'ry is in sight of--not because of--but in spite of

Doctor Morton's mighty efforts in the war.
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