There is no land like England
Where banks rise day by day,
There are no banks like English banks
To make the people pay.

There is no such land of castles
Where an Englishman is free
To read his smutty literature
With muffins at his tea.

Chorus:
For the French have comic papers
Not that nice Britons read 'em,
But the bawdy little Britons
Have bank sharks to bleed 'em

And to keep an eye on their readin' matter
Lest they should overhear the distressing chatter
Of the new economical theories
And ask inconvenient queetfes.