If you have a problem that can't be fixed,
Just call on Officer 666.

He'll mend your heart lickety-split,
And leave you some money and give you no lip.
Hey, that's my kinda cop: 666.

If you're stuck outside (keys locked in the car)
Just call for him, he's never too far:
'666? Oh, there you are! '

He'll carry you home, safe in his arms,
And tuck you in, and rock you to sleep,
And steal your heart while you count sheep.

He's not very pretty when it comes to the face,
Or just about any other body-place.
But he'll please you 'on-your-knees-you',
Just by his commanding voice

and 12.75 yards of lace.