I flex my muscles all by myself
looking for swelling that used to be there.
To my dismay, they sag and droop.
The only thing that could help is prayer.

I pull in my stomach when ladies are around
and try to look manly and strong.
The truth is, I'm glad when they leave
for I can't hold it in too long.

My teeth are mine and are original
My ears still need no amplification.
But it does seem like everyone mumbles
and I don't understand all the conversation.

I wheeze when I run and snore when I sleep.
But I'm still a romantic at heart.
For I know one thing for certain,
if I'm getting older, so is my sweetheart.