Dull Animal miscalled a Man, for Shame
Give o'er your foolish tales of Fire and Flame:
The Nymphs abhor you, and your Stories hate,
Count you a Monster, barb'rously Ingrate:
Your fine sweet Face, in which such Pride you take,
Th'exactness of your clever, easy Make(2);
Your Charming Mien(3), bewitching Tongue, nor yet
The fancied Greatness of your boasted Wit,
Can now the meanest Nymph to Pity move,
Though once they taught the great
Phylena
Love:

Phylena
, Glory of the
Surrey
Plain,
The envied Wish of every hopeless Swain,
Whose Artless Charms, the Proud and Great had brought
Upon their Knees, th'Old and Morose had taught
How to Languish, and they that durst not show
They were her Lovers, silently were so:
But you alone, did of her Conquest boast,
In that one Prize all Nature's Wealth engrossed:
But your insipid Dullness found more Charms,
More Pleasure in the wanton
Flora's
(4) Arms;
With Her you passed your hours in idle Prate,
While poor
Phylena
unregarded sate:
Kind heart! She wept; and gently She Reproved
Your strange Ingratitude, told you, you loved
A Shepherdess that had a sickly Fame,
And would bring Infamy upon your Name.
Who can believe? With unheard Impudence
You owned your Crime, and urged in your defense,
The Nymph sung charmingly, was very Witty,
Gay, Brisk, had Teeth; oh! infinitely Pretty:
Ingenious Lime-twigs(5), to catch Woodcocks on,
Pretty Ingredients to Dote upon!
Can you prefer these trivial Toys, that are
As common as their Owner, to the rare
Perfections dwell in your
Phylena's
Breast,
Things too Divinely Great to be expressed?
Her Virtues, though her Beauty should decay,
Might Charm the World, and make Mankind obey.
Degen'rous(6) Man! break this ignoble Chain,
That dims your Luster, does your Honor stain;
Or you'll be judged for all your vain Pretenses,
Not only to have lost your Wits, but Senses.