I do not believe the ancients—
the constellations look like nothing at all.
See how their light scatters itself
across the sky, not bright
enough to guide us anywhere?
And the avenue of trees, leaking
their dark inks, are shapes I can't identify.
The night is too inconstant, a constant
injury, alchemical moonlight
changing my body from lead to silver,
silver to lead. I lie
uncovered on the bed, unmoved
by the love you left, bad dreams,
bad night ahead. All summer
you held me to your chest:
It's the heat, you said, accounting
for our sleeplessness, so that
touch became metaphor for what kept us
separate. Our lives construct
themselves out of the lie of pain.
I lied when I sent you away.
To call your name would be another lie.