Dorothea Rosa Herliany

1963 / Magelang

The Marriage Diary

when i married you, i silenced my need for your fidelity.
you then changed and became my obedient slave.
this world that i own i built on a hill of stones
and a field of blady grass. you ploughed it, turning the land fertile
and i harvested while hauling around my sniffling lust.
i have a thousand wild beasts, i'll use them as soldiers
that will stalk and imprison you.
and, the bamboos i had planted will be made into spears and blades.

run as far as your cocky, macho strides can take you, man!
hide in your mother's armpits,
read the body language and the growth
of saplings in the greenhouse: tell me how to erect a dwelling
and build walls without doors - the prison of my offerings
that you had read in your own tongue.

i married you but not for your fidelity.
i've tolerated the wars waged with myself at each battlefield.
i am the commander of a troop of the wildest beasts
-who are always lusting after you, as they ogle
you at the dining table.

for now let me hold you,
before i heed and end my dire hunger.

Translated by Mona Zahra Attamimi
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