There's a little sallow idle man lives north of Waterloo,
And he owns the toughest music hall in town.
There are broken hearted comics, there's a grave yard for them too.
And the gallery gods are ever gazing down,
He was known as Fat Caroo in the pubs round Waterloo
And he wore a green tie with a diamond pin;
He was worshipped in the ranks

By the captain of the swanks and the coal man's daughter
Loved his double chin.
He had loved her all along
And, despite his ong-bong-pong,
The fact that she loved him
They say was right,
Though her complexion was a fake
And her teeth were put and take
(Put in by day and taken out by night).

'Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twentysecond year,
So he Smiled at her as sweetly as a hog
And asked what present she would like and jestingly she said,
'Your green tie for my little yellow dog.'
Fat Caroo seemed in a trance
And his heart slipped through his pants,
But he tried his utmost not to look a wreck.
So he handed her the tie and kissed her hand goodbye When he bowed his head she bit his neck.

Later on Caroo came to His tie had gone it's true
And his tie pin with it.
He seemed in a fog,
He rushed like mad to find, that she'd tied that tie behind
To the tailpiece of her little yellow dog.
She was screaming like a child,
The dog was running wild,
Biting policemen as he galloped up the straight;
For the little dog called Tom
When he wagged his to and from
Felt the tie pin urged him on to meet his fate.

The dog returned at dawn with his windscreen slightly torn
And on seeing took something from the lady's room.
To another room he flew, saying,'That's for Fat Caroo'
And silently he slunked out in the gloom.

When Caroo jumped into bed he'd ''ve wakened up the dead,
With a scream as he fell like a hog.
Her false teeth they were buried in the seat of Fat Caroo 'Twas the vengeance of that little yellow dog.

There's a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Gonga Pooch,
There's a little hot cross bun that's turning green,
There's a double jointed woman doing tricks in ChooChinCh,, And your're a better man that I am Gunga Din.