In an estaminet a French dancer one day
Did the can-can for soldiers' enticement;~
She was doing her best when some stitches went west
And I bust my drum with excitement.

I said to that girl, who was taller than me,
The way soldiers love I will teach yer.
Said she: 'You're too small.' Said I: 'Not at all,
If I stand on my drum I can reach yer.'

That night I got canned and I dreamt of that girl:
I was playfully just going to slap her,
When a sock in the jaw woke me up and I saw
I was stroking the sergeant's bald napper.

With Corporal White I was having a fight -
One of those Army rough houses;
He kicked me around the room, I kept going boom, boom-
I'd the drum in the seat of my trouses.

When parading one day my braces gave way,
But don't jump to a hasty conclusion.
I may have turned red but I still kept my head,
For my drum helped to hide my confusion.

I was getting on well with a fine buxom gel,
She had a figure like Venus;
I found a quiet spot, that's as far as I got,
For I found that my drum came between us.