The culture game in Cactus has been boosted quite a spell
By a gent with movin' pictures--and he played the show game well;
But he had himself sure tangled, and the uplift game was messed
When he tried to show a drammer of the palpitatin' West.

The hall was filled with punchers when he turned up his machine,
And showed up what was labeled a real Wild Western scene;
There was mountains in the background, which was real enough, perhaps,
But you oughter seem them actors that cavorted round in chaps!

We stood it without knockin' till a bronk drifts in the play
And the cowboy and his sweetheart make their weddin' getaway;
Then we groans in chorus mighty, and we turns jest where we sits,
And it only takes one volley to reduce the lamp to bits.

Then we sought the frightened owner, and we paid the damage done,
But we cautioned him hereafter nary Western film to run;
''Cause,' we say, 'it makes us nervous--nay, we may say, peeved and cross--
When we see an actor-cowboy mount the wrong side of a hoss!'