He wandered lonely as a cloud,
then suddenly stopped to stand and stare
cos, golly gee! he'd become aware
that both his shoe laces were undone,
so quick as a flash, he swiftly stooped
and with nimble fingers, the bows he looped,
then straightening up with a satisfied hiss,
ambled off to the inn to slake his thirst.

Apon seating seating himself by the fireside bright,
a waitress appeared, a welcome sight.
'Noo whit dis yoo waant, oh traveller fair,
tho' ah must tell yoo pal, you're in the wrong chair,
that be Noahs' the pigman, o' Waterside farm,
an' 'e's sat in that seat since he were a bairn.

Noo afore very long he'll pop in through that door,
an' give you a dig, which'll knock yoo tae the floor,
so ah'd head fur the bar, an' down a freshly pulled pint,
then head fur ma bed as ah wave aebody goodnight.
'Cause, when all is said an' done,
it's better to be safe than sorry;
noo aint ah right Mr. Wordsworth