not wanting to die, just wanted to disappear
obliviate, erased
the thought of not existing, seems to grow up on me
my throat feels sore, my voice can't be let out
I'm thinking too much, think of nothing at all
can't say it out lout, but it all gets into my head
dragging me from consciousness, stripping away little by little

The thought echoes & echoes,
each repetition making it more embedded to my mind, infiltrating every crook and nanny
the thought of being erased, giving a strange sense of calmness to my soul
being here, is not something I'm good at
I don't want this, all that is between me
i felt myself slowly slipping away, drowning out everything else
my sense is clouded, giving up it last resistance

what if i don't wanna go on?
what if i just want to stop?
without any intention to let go of the pause button
too many questions being uttered,
too many answer I've to rack my brain for
stepping back seems to be the easiest way
furthering away from arms reach

the dead and the forgotten, the dead is most likely forgotten, but is the forgotten already dead?
and if i refuse to live like others, is the latter where i belong?
does it all life have come to be?
to continue your life and ignore the thing that gnaws at your heart?

The thought of your own nonexistence felt like it's where it should've been
the torment will go away,
"cease my presence"
i plead
"my throat hurts so much"
i said