You know it 14 you think you’ve seen it all, felt every possible heart break you could ever imagine, just because your dad died at the age of 11 but what no one knows is since that moment you haven’t had parents in years because your mom died the moment she found out she had to be alone forever, so she’ll spend the rest of her life trying to fill that empty spot and you think you’ve been through it all from being in a toxic relationship with someone you never even loved until you’re 16 and you find yourself more lost than you’ve ever been because no one fucking tells you that you’ll fall for a boy you’d never expect to and you spend over two years on, still sneaking out to his house in that blue room filled of empty moans and broken hearts traced all over his skin that you can’t get enough of and no one fucking tells you that some man will walk out of jail from five years directly into your life changing everything for the worst, including taking the little bit you have left of your mom and you’ll be left alone. Expected to just deal with it all with no one. Which is mostly your own fault Because you’ll never let your wall down again for someone to see you and how you think but as much as you want to be alone it breaks you, and your thoughts get so loud and they never stop. So you wait until the destructive man what’s left of the woman you call mom go to bed and are sound asleep to sneak out the fire escape to cry to the stars with a burning cigarette in your hand and once you’re finally done, you wipe your mascara stained eyes and walk to the only person who makes you feel something in hopes maybe this time, something will change, that he’ll stay.. but he never does.
no one does.