After the sin, I slipped out
of the cave, bright and brave
for a new world. Father’s blood
puddled behind inside the dark
house, the terror of his shadow
scraping the floor, the sclerotic flame
almost dead. I had dropped the blade
and swam across the stream to the city
where I met you. Meek and masked
– and wonderfully urbane — you marvelled
at my nakedness, wetness, patricidal hands
and wrapped your cloak around me. The smoke
of the chimneys, the chiming of the bells
of your secular church, seductive, sonorous
to my empty ears. I was the first volunteer
an absolute convert to your cause, craved
nothing but your confidence. Remember
our pacts, oaths and other artifacts
of allegiance? For how many years
I served and killed, severed fingers and heads
for you? A prodigious assassin
to your proud benefactor. I’ve been
thinking about all that. When
exactly and why was it that I grew
restless, resentful of your patronage
to yearn for a peripatetic life? Which knife
did I do it with? You know
it wasn’t a sin. Your city had become
my new prison, you my new
shady patriarch. I had to hate you. Now
I’m a captive to my freedom
and the dusty winds of the desert
envelope me in place of your wings
as I prostrate. I kneel before your ghost.