You feel an inner void
Something is gnawing at your soul
Enviously
you scrutinize others
longing to be
who you are not
Do not despair
Proudly
we shall transform you
If you drip
we shall staunch the flow
If you feel barren
we shall get your juices going
If you insist on being a man
we'll alter your anatomy
If you feel gentle
we'll drive you raving mad
If you squint the wrong way
we'll invert your gaze
If you are consumed with doubt
we'll inject conviction
If you suffer from anxiety
we'll hang you
by your teeth
beneath the circus dome
If you are emotionally balanced
we'll tear you apart
If you exude good health
we'll contaminate you
Should you
as an after-effect
be gripped by the desire
to prevail amid contradictions
we'll shift you
dialectically
into the middle
Our magicians and magnetists
await your call