(With mild apologies to the L.P.T.B.)
O silly Brown, O silly Brown,
Be careful, do, in London Town.
Do not attempt to cross the square
If motor-cars are moving there.
For vehicles, at any speed,
May hurt you very much indeed;
And, I'm afraid, the chances are
You will not hurt the motor-car.
Think, too, before you leave this side:
'Is such a journey justified?
Would it relieve the nation's load
If I were now to cross the road?
Does it much matter where I am?
Does anybody care a damn?'
An act that does not aid the war
Is wasted effort. What is more,
Who knows if you may not delay
A Civil Servant on his way,
Or make some Minister of State
A priceless half a second late?
Besides, its generally best
For people to remain at rest.
All motion must be friction too
And wears away the strongest shoe.
Shoe-leather is extremely rare,
And so is stuff to pave the Square.
In short, ignore the itch to roam;
Stay where you are, or stay at home.
And if in some remote retreat
Your Grandmama you chance to meet
Absorbing raw old-fashioned food
By methods primitive and crude,
Do not, however hard she begs,
Instruct her how to suck her eggs;
For she, in my considered view,
Can suck her eggs as well as you.